I Hate Teenagers!
Saturday, June 05, 2010
By: Shannon Wilburn

I Hate Teenagers!

While I do not profess to be the world's greatest mom...in fact, I am far from it, I'd like to think that I know a little something about teenagers. 

Okay...I confess, the title of this blog was just a ploy to get you to open and read! It worked, as now I have your full attention.

Let me remind you that my husband was a youth minister for 14 years.  When I met him, our first outing together was to the youth group at his church so he could teach youth class.  I worked right there along side him for all of those years...through the lock-ins, mission trips, camps, devotionals, girls Bible studies, teenagers hanging out at the house until all hours of the night....toilet papering, sleepovers, counseling sessions and more.  I have been around thousands of teenagers over the last 20 years...and was one myself up until that point.  (Yes..I am 39 years old for 26 more days)  However, nothing could prepare me for having my own teenagers.  Parenting and youth ministry are two completely different things as I have figured out over the last three and a half years.

My son, Jake, is 15 and a half (the half is important) and just got his permit and my daughter is 14....they are 15 months apart (not on purpose and that will be a future topic of my blog.."How not to have children 15 months apart!").  Having teenagers of my own has opened my eyes!

I enjoy time with my children most of the time.  Not counting the times when there is rolling eyes, heavy sighs, slammed doors, comments like "Don't embarrass Me!", and disrespectful tones and bouts of selfishness to the extreme...and those are just MY reactions!  Seriously, teenagers are horrible and wonderful all at the same time.

As I think about my influence on my children...I often wonder if they "like" me as a mom.  Do I do everything right...do I give them enough space...do I help them when they need it...do I give them opportunities...do I teach them everything that there is to know about everything...am I teaching them to love the Lord...do I discipline them appropriately...do I choose my battles, etc?  There are so many unknowns that I constantly struggle with these questions and more.

This past Mother's Day, my daughter gave me a card, that I will keep forever.  It encouraged me (and still does) so much that I hung it up in my bathroom so that I would see it every day.  I wanted to share it with you so that you, too, can be encouraged.

It says "Hi mom, you are the best prettiest mom in the world and I love you so much! Thanks for everything you do for me! I'm happy that you're my mom!  I love you! Strong. Flawless. Smart. Inspire. Mom. Beautiful.  Looking Gorgeous. Fit. Leadership. Fashion Forward. Pretty"

Who? Me? Believe me I don't fit this bill...I am the queen of mess-ups! And I am far from flawless...have known to make bad choices...am 15 pounds heavier than I want to be...the list could go on and on. 

It's a huge relief to know that our kids look past these things.  Don't we love it how our children forget when we mess up and they forgive us and love us in spite of ourselves? 

Wait a minute....that kind of sounds like "unconditional love"!  It's kind of like they may have heard about that somewhere...oh yea...I taught them that!  I wonder if that means that I still have to apologize for shouting "Shut Up! earlier today?  :)

I forgot to mention.....I LOVE teenagers!

Comments

Great blog Shannon! A sense of humor is a MUST when raising teenagers. I adopted the exchange rule to combat the rolling eyes of my teenagers. Rolling eyes for Mom was always followed by a hug from Mom (anywhere and everywhere with no exceptions). The result...a significant drop in rolling eyes from my four teenage daughters. Go figure. They are now in their 20's. If they ever roll their eyes around me, I start toward them with open arms and a chase with lots of giggles follows.

Lorraine, Sunday, June 13, 2010

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I loved your blog and your right, the title got my attention! I am 31 years old and your daughter sounds like wonderful woman and I pray you will be as close as my mother and I now and always. She is my best friend. I am curious why you should not have children 15 months apart. Both my hubby and I are twins. We are both very close with our twin and want that for our children. We had our first child, Callen, at the end of this April and the Lord let us keep him for 20 minutes before taking him to be with him in heaven. So we have no children here on earth yet. If the Lord doesn't bless us with twins in our next pregnancy we are planing on having out children as close as physically possible.. 15 or so months apart. So I thought before we decide this, I would as you, as a person who has two older children 15 months apart, why not?

Carly, Friday, June 25, 2010

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--> So sorry for your loss. You now have an angel in heaven protecting you. My children are 5 years apart. I would recommend having children closer together than 5 years. Now that my daughter is approaching the teen years, it seems like the kids argue constantly. My oldest doesnt want to play little kid games with her sibling who is 6. I really wish they were closer in age but due to fertility issues, this was not possible. Prayers for you during this difficult time.

deidra, Tuesday, July 13, 2010

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Shannon, I loved reading this... almost as much as I love teenagers! I have a 16 1/2 year old daughter, and have been teaching in a high school for 10 years. Some of my favorite times have been spent hanging out with teenagers, on school functions, church functions, or waiting in line to see the latest midnight opening of Twilight. A sense of humor and a passion for living; great teenage qualities! Thanks for the catchy title!

Debbie, Thursday, July 01, 2010

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I love the blog. I'm a single mother of 14 & almost 11 year old girls. The oldest loves to jot me little notes thanking me for all I do for her. She gets very specific with all the small tasks I do. It feels great to be appreciated!! I start my day at 4am. She recently set my cell phone alarm to go off and tell me she loves me and to have a great day at work. I was amazed at the thoughtfulness because as you mention they can be very selfish at this age. I love being the parent of a teenager!!

June, Saturday, July 03, 2010

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--> Ok June, that's awesome! Your daughter is so lucky to have such a good head on her shoulders at such a young age. (sounds like she probably has an awesome mom.) Shannon, I love this blog. You always have the best titles. They pull me in every time!

Aimee, Thursday, July 15, 2010

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Wow - your daughter's Love Language is DEFINITELY words of affirmation/confirmation. My Mom's Love Language is "words" but it took until my late 20's to realize this. You have an amazing daughter!

Kari H., Friday, September 24, 2010

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