Plus-Size Sexy
Monday, February 08, 2010
By: Michelle Wiginton

Dear Michelle: I have to admit that I have never forgotten to eat or been asked to stand sideways to make a shadow, so you might say I am a “healthy” woman. I come by it naturally; my grandmother, mom and two sisters are also plus-sized girls. We are all healthy and enjoy life, but no matter how much tofu-crunch I eat or how many miles I walk, I am never going to be thin. I’ve been told that I will never find love unless I lose weight, but is someone really going to truly love me because my clothes are single-digit sized? ~Love Weighs Heavy on My Mind

 

Dear Love Weighs Heavy on My Mind: I have waged war against my weight as long as I can remember…sometimes I think I am winning, other times, I know that I am being beat by a ton of milk chocolate-covered almonds. It’s been said that war is hell…well, so is dieting your entire life! But, there is good news….life is not all about your size, shape or color (and neither is true love!).

 

When I finally married, at the ripe old age of 31, all of my friends from work threw a party for me and gave me a quite generous gift certificate to Victoria’s Secret. When I opened the envelope, I laughed to myself because all I could think of was, “What on earth was I possibly going spend that much money on in a lingerie shop that was made for girls half my size?” I did find a beautiful negligee for my wedding night, designed by a genius, that made me feel beautiful, look beautiful and it was size “L”. I had worried so much about how I looked that I forgot my husband married me because he liked the way I looked!

 

I don’t think you should let yourself go or maintain an unbalanced or unhealthy lifestyle, but I do believe there are plenty of plus-sized, sexy women who knock the socks off their men every day…and night. True love is not about what is on the outside, but what is on the inside. Don’t hide in a shell; show the world the special things that only you can offer to someone, but remember also you will always get what you settle for. Queen Latifah, to me, is a beautiful woman. She is confident, radiant, fun, unique and quite striking. But I would not say that she is skinny. She is just herself…and that is sexy.

 

When I look at most non-airbrushed individuals, it’s true I don’t see perfection…I see flaws that each person has to deal with every day. We deal with our weight, but some thin people have to deal with learning disabilities, crooked noses, ugly toes, hairy arms, acne, thin hair and on and on. Nobody is perfect, so start focusing on your best features and they will soon outshine your less endearing characteristics. There are thousands of wonderful men attracted to bright, confident women who love life and those around them. You just have not yet found the one who fully appreciates and understands the unique qualities you have to offer.

 

Old boyfriends told me things like, “If you gain any weight, I will leave you”, “I won’t introduce you to my friends until you lose weight,” and “You would really be a knock-out if you lost weight”, but I respect myself too much to allow anyone that shallow to treat me like I was less than a person because I was not a size six. You have to first respect yourself, maintain a balanced and healthy lifestyle, and then just live your life to the fullest. Love will find you…it found me on the landing of my apartment, with my next door neighbor…who asked me to marry him eleven Valentine’s Days ago…in church. Kevin leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Will you marry me? I want our relationship founded on God, so I could not think of a better place to ask you.” (cool, huh?)

 

Always feel free to email me at michelle@jbfsale.com with your questions...would love to hear from you! (below is a picture taken the year Kevin and I married)

Comments

I just wanted you to know your article made me cry. I was bulimic for 5 years due to a fear of one day being a plus sized woman. I am now battling being the largest I have ever been. God healed my heart of bulimia but my mind needs constant renewal. This article reminded me that my husband married me for me! Thanks

volleyhol, Wednesday, February 10, 2010

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Just remember there is someone out there for everyone. Some people find them when they are not even looking. That was when I found my husband almost 5 years ago. I wore a size 14 then and now after having two wonderful boys together I now wear a size 18 and he loves me just as much now than when we got married. If a man truly loves you he will love you no matter what size clother you wear.

meandmyboys, Tuesday, March 02, 2010

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