The older I get, the more I understand the need for companionship, encouragement and faith. As I write this blog, it’s a Wednesday evening and I am hurting so badly I can barely stand it. In fact, I’ve lived with constant pain so long I’ve forgotten what it feels like not to hurt. But, through it all, I have found that you will find what you are looking for…and I am looking for the pleasure of peace.

I’ve lost many family members and each brought their own kind of pain. I’ve been hurt by love, which caused a ripping and gaping type of pain. Children can and do cause pain because they will lash out worst at those they love most. Being betrayed by a friend hurts, too. Then, there is physical pain which has as many shades as dark shadows.

However, there is also peace. There comes a time when you accept what you are enduring and change your focus from internal to external. I have a co-worker who just lost his father and he came to me to talk about it because I had just lost my mother. We shared the pain of their loss, but then came the peace of knowing where they were and that we would see them again.

Ask yourself what you have to learn from your situation and how it can make you a better person. I have 22 incision scars from surgery. I like to think that, if you took a Sharpie and connected them all, the design would be Sponge Bob! I pray for those who are sick and hurt, since I know miracles happen every day because we ask and believe. Then, I roll up my sleeves and help them…not the glamorous stuff that everyone else wants to do…I clean bathrooms, do laundry, babysit, grocery shop and help friends shower and go to the restroom if they are unable to do it for themselves. So, fold your hands first…then flex your hands in humble service.

Share your pain and there will be less of it. Don’t hole up in your office or bedroom and shut others out because they may be your only lifeline. Friends can make you laugh, when you feel like crying. Friends can lighten your load, so it is easier to carry. They can just be there to hear what you need to say to make you feel better. Yes, they might even be the ones who cut up the strawberries for your frozen daiquiri. Remember, pain becomes an anchor if you hold onto it and it will drown slowly if you’re not careful.

Thankfully, my husband knows about pain. A tumor broke his fibula in ten places and had to be removed, which meant he had to relearn how to walk when he was only a senior in high school. Then, after he became a State Trooper, he was hit bodily or in his unit 13 different times during his 29-year career. He doesn’t always know exactly how I feel, but he remembers how it felt when he hurt and those memories soften his voice and his hands.

Pain affects each one of us. You may have lost a child, a spouse, a parent, a sibling, a friend.  Or maybe you suffer from Lupus like my mother-in-law or Rheumatoid Arthritis like my step-mother. You might be hurting from rejection, feelings of failure or unrealized dreams. No matter the source, you can learn to find a place of peace in any situation. I’m not saying it is easy, because I know it’s not. However, I have found it is well worth everything I’ve gone through to find it.

Do something nice for someone else. (Relish their smile) Take a friend to coffee. (Share their laughter) Be good to yourself. (Remember you are worthy) Look for peace, joy, love and friendship…these things are in abundance all around you, if you will just reach out and embrace them! (Live life, don’t merely exist each day)

Here is my hubby and our boys...Jeremiah, James and Halston