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I'm Not Complaining!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010 By: Shannon Wilburn
Okay, seriously, I’m not complaining! Milk it Babeeeeey!
This summer has been the summer of celebrations at my house! This year, July 2, to be exact…I turned 40 along with my twin sister, Tara. Our hubbies invited us to Seaside, FL in May along with our
mom for a relaxing week on the beach. Okay…truth be told….we (me and my sis) actually planned the vacation ourselves and invited our hubbies and mom…like good bossy Texas girls do! We had a grand time of doing nothing except lounging at the pool, eating out, late night movies, strawberry shortcake and riding bicycles around the area in the 80 degree perfect weather (without kids). It was a wonderful “early” birthday present. Since that happened in May…I still had a good 5 weeks until my “real” birthday and I milked that for all it was worth too! (Isn’t that what we are supposed to do?)
Twenty years ago today…I married my best friend. Yes, today is my 20th wedding anniversary. My husband introduced himself to me in 1988 (yes, I know that most of you weren’t even born then) by using an acronym for his name. He, and a friend, strolled up to me at the student center at Abilene Christian University and he said “Hey, my name is Mitch….the M is for Macho, the I is for Intelligent, the T is for Tough, the C is for Courageous and the H is for Hot-legged-love-God”.
He likes to tell the story that I immediately wrapped my arms around him and said “Marry Me!” However, it wasn’t until almost 2 years later I married my best friend. Ft. Worth, Texas, August 11th, 1990…the big day. I wore this huge headpiece that I swear to my kids now, was in style at the time! I won’t grace you with that picture as I am trying to figure out what I was thinking!
20 years later tonight, my hubby is in California at a conference, I am home with 4 teenagers in the house (only two are mine). I’m on a muscle-relaxer, steroids and pain meds for a bulging disk in my neck (someone should have told me that doing the intermediate rafting in Colorado last week was not a good idea) and I’m reminiscing (by myself) about my wedding day and the last 20 years….which, by the way, went really fast!
Any other woman might feel sorry for herself that their hubby was gone on such a special day. However…Mitch made sure that I would have a wonderful day…even in his absence. We went out to eat last week for our anniversary and I thought that was just fabulous! Then, last night…I walked into our bathroom to find a card and a beautiful necklace…yes, my man went shopping for me! Today…after a couple of meetings….I came home to find a huge bouquet of flowers in the kitchen with another card. He had hid these in my daughters closet and told her where and when to get them out. What a great surprise.
Now for a shout-out and a nudge for those of us who are forming our boys into men. Thank you, Larry and Nancy Wilburn (or to us….Boomie and Nannie) for teaching your son how to be a wonderful, supportive, thoughtful Godly man! Please tell us how you did it! I can only hope and pray that our kids can learn from his example (not mine) of how to be a wonderful spouse.
Now you know why I’m not complaining. I’m older, I’m wiser and I am blessed! I think I’ll keep him for at least the next 20!
Hugs, Shannon Wilburn
PS. Don’t tell him I wrote this because I still plan on milking the absent anniversary for at least 3 more weeks!
Photo right: Check out my necklace and my flowers...Happy Anniversary to me!
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Mothers Who Cuss
Thursday, July 08, 2010 By: Shannon Wilburn
You guessed it....I've never been much of a cusser. Maybe because I didn't grow up around it. Hearing it most days makes me shake my head and wonder why educated, adults have to resort to cursing to get their point across. Sure...it's a social norm among most Americans to throw in the occasional curse word here or there in everyday conversation..but what I don't get is why?
This was the way I felt until about a month ago. What happened last month to make me better understand this need to throw out an explitive every once and a while? The answer: The dreaded and anticipated driver's permit.
Keep in mind that the first time I heard MY mother curse was when my twin sister (sorry Tara) was at the wheel at 15 years of age driving down a neighborhood street and came within millimeters of ramming the passenger's side (where my mother was sitting) into a delivery truck. It was a word that I had never heard come out of my mothers mouth. When she yelled that word...that memory was engrained in my mind forever. (Okay..that may be overstating..not sure she yelled or that it was engrained..but it makes the story better especially now that my mom is a minister).
My son got his permit a little over a month ago and wanted to drive immediately. We left the tag agency with permit in hand and headed for the car. I remained cool, calm and collected until he started the car. My heart rate sped up...I started sweating...I was no longer in control...I was leaving my life in the hands of a 15 year old!
For those of you who have already been down this road...I may need some pointers. Every time I get in the car with him and act like everything is okay..I am silently praying the whole time that I will survive and make it to the destination intact. Are you with me? Okay..confession time....I'm a control freak. Yes..I said it. That's me alright..the one who always wants to be in control. Well...guess what, having a 15 year old driver gives you lots of opportunities to feel WAY out of control.
So...although I haven't yelled any explitives lately. I reserve the right to loose control (at least once in the next 5 months)....AND blame it on my son!
By the way, I have a great respect now for those of you who have already gone through this right of passage....any hints about making it out alive would be most appreciated! One more note...Jake really is a pretty good driver! :)
Hugs,
Shannon
I Hate Teenagers!
Saturday, June 05, 2010 By: Shannon Wilburn
I Hate Teenagers!
While I do not profess to be the world's greatest mom...in fact, I am far from it, I'd like to think that I know a little something about teenagers.
Okay...I confess, the title of this blog was just a ploy to get you to open and read! It worked, as now I have your full attention.
Let me remind you that my husband was a youth minister for 14 years. When I met him, our first outing together was to the youth group at his church so he could teach youth class. I worked right there along side him for all of those years...through the lock-ins, mission trips, camps, devotionals, girls Bible studies, teenagers hanging out at the house until all hours of the night....toilet papering, sleepovers, counseling sessions and more. I have been around thousands of teenagers over the last 20 years...and was one myself up until that point. (Yes..I am 39 years old for 26 more days) However, nothing could prepare me for having my own teenagers. Parenting and youth ministry are two completely different things as I have figured out over the last three and a half years.
My son, Jake, is 15 and a half (the half is important) and just got his permit and my daughter is 14....they are 15 months apart (not on purpose and that will be a future topic of my blog.."How not to have children 15 months apart!"). Having teenagers of my own has opened my eyes!
I enjoy time with my children most of the time. Not counting the times when there is rolling eyes, heavy sighs, slammed doors, comments like "Don't embarrass Me!", and disrespectful tones and bouts of selfishness to the extreme...and those are just MY reactions! Seriously, teenagers are horrible and wonderful all at the same time.
As I think about my influence on my children...I often wonder if they "like" me as a mom. Do I do everything right...do I give them enough space...do I help them when they need it...do I give them opportunities...do I teach them everything that there is to know about everything...am I teaching them to love the Lord...do I discipline them appropriately...do I choose my battles, etc? There are so many unknowns that I constantly struggle with these questions and more.
This past Mother's Day, my daughter gave me a card, that I will keep forever. 
It encouraged me (and still does) so much that I hung it up in my bathroom so that I would see it every day. I wanted to share it with you so that you, too, can be encouraged.
It says "Hi mom, you are the best prettiest mom in the world and I love you so much! Thanks for everything you do for me! I'm happy that you're my mom! I love you! Strong. Flawless. Smart. Inspire. Mom. Beautiful. Looking Gorgeous. Fit. Leadership. Fashion Forward. Pretty"
Who? Me? Believe me I don't fit this bill...I am the queen of mess-ups! And I am far from flawless...have known to make bad choices...am 15 pounds heavier than I want to be...the list could go on and on.
It's a huge relief to know that our kids look past these things. Don't we love it how our children forget when we mess up and they forgive us and love us in spite of ourselves?
Wait a minute....that kind of sounds like "unconditional love"! It's kind of like they may have heard about that somewhere...oh yea...I taught them that! I wonder if that means that I still have to apologize for shouting "Shut Up! earlier today? :)
I forgot to mention.....I LOVE teenagers!
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Passing the Blame
Tuesday, April 27, 2010 By: Shannon Wilburn
Passing the Blame
If there is one thing that bugs me more than anything…it is people who can’t take responsibility for their actions. This is one concept that I have tried to instill in my children. Several years ago, I was backing out of my driveway with my son and daughter having World War III in the backseat. I was so distracted by their arguing that I backed right into my husband’s truck (that was not supposed to be parked there)!
If I wasn’t mad to begin with, I was really mad now. "Why in the world was that truck parked there?! Why can my kids not get along?!," I screamed from the front seat! UGH…Great start to my day! As I reflected upon that moment, I realized that it was time to put my money where my mouth was and follow my own words that had passed my lips so many times. “Don’t blame other people for your own mistakes!”
Okay…seriously…If my husband didn’t park his truck RIGHT there..then I wouldn’t have hit it! Doesn’t he know that this is MY part of the driveway? If that excuse wasn’t enough, if my kids would just act like civilized human beings and not find a reason to argue the moment they are within two feet of each other—then I would not have hit that truck! These excuses came to my mind all too easily. I also knew that if I told this story to my friends, that they would definitely agree that it was not my fault.
Pounding in my mind, as I tried to push it to the back, came the very question that I had asked my kids on numerous occasions. “What was YOUR part in this problem/dilemma/situation?” I immediately argued with myself internally not wanting to take the blame for this wreck. Taking a serious look, I realized that I was the only one driving. I was the only one who had control of the vehicle. I was the one who didn’t look before backing out of the garage. It was my MY fault!
Admitting it to myself was one thing, but actually speaking the words and apologizing—I didn’t think I could do it! As I swallowed my pride and embarrassment, I apologized first to my children for yelling at them. Then, it was time for a face-to-face with my husband. Have I mentioned that I hate to be wrong? Thankfully, my husband has the God-given characteristic of giving grace. He accepted my apology and didn’t have any “I told you so’s” in his response.
This was a definite turning point in my life. I had taught my kids when they came to me with a problem, to first look at their part in the problem, take ownership of what they could control and speak that into the apology. So, my apology looked something like this. “I’m so sorry that I was not paying attention (Source of the wreck) when I was backing out of the garage. I’m sorry that I hit your truck.” A simple “I’m sorry” would not be taking the full blame. Don’t we all do that? When we know we are at fault but don’t want to take full responsibility…we give a cursory, un-caring “I’m sorry” then, under our breath…”but if you would have done this or that, then I wouldn’t have had to blah blah blah”?
I’ve come to realize that it is our first inclination (aka: Human Nature) to blame others for our bad life experiences. However, most of the time, we have made a bad decision or chosen a wrong road somewhere along the way. That choice is what has actually gotten us into our current problem. Naming the source, apologizing to those we hurt along the way, and learning something from the experience can be the best parent trick in the book. It’s a daily struggle to want to pass the blame. But taking responsibility for my actions is a skill that, one day, with lots of prayer, I hope to master! Lead by example—and hopefully, your children will follow.
Hugs, Shannon
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Letting Go!
Tuesday, February 02, 2010 By: Shannon Wilburn
Letting Go!
I have to admit that I am not much of a reader. However, I stumbled upon a blog recently that caught my attention. The young Tulsa mother was lamenting about needing to simplify her life without getting rid of what their family needs. She confessed that their closets and dresser drawers were full to overflowing with items that they no longer needed. With one infant child in the house, they didn't know that a baby needed so many things.
She commented that they weren't sure if they were going to have another child and asked the questions that so many of us have had at one point or another.....do I need to save this stuff and if not..how do I let go? She spoke of the baby's first Christmas outfit or the outfit that her child walked in for the first time and all the memories attached to those items.
She then went on to mention that she knew about the options in which to let go. Just Between Friends as well as a local non-profit that helps families in emergency situations, Emergency Infant Services were both on her option list. Her question to her readers was...How can I let go?
I have copied my response to her below.
My kids are now teenagers. It's been a long time since I had some of those same feelings, but reading your blog took me back to the time when my children were infants. I remember having a hard time getting rid of things initially. I had to train myself to think about the people that would be blessed by the items that I was cleaning out.
I think it is funny that you mentioned two options that are close to my heart, JBF and EIS. I have been blessed by being able to witness the smiles on customers faces as they come through the lines at JBF knowing that they have wonderful items for the children and that they would not be able to clothe their children in that manner without others consigning their beautiful, gently loved items that they no longer need.
I don't get to work the check out as often as I like, but did have the chance to work it a little at the Fall Just Between Friends sale in Tulsa. I had a woman with a tiny infant come through my line, a teenage mom. She did not have a mom or a husband with her at the time. It was the 1/2 price day and she came up with three outfits (none were over 2 dollars), two bibs and some bottles. When I rang up the sale, it came to about $11.00. She looked embarrassed and told me that she needed to put something back, that she didn't realize that there was tax. She had ten dollars to spend on her new baby and I could tell it was a stretch. Of course, I told her that there wasn't going to be any putting-back. She left there with all of her purchases and I went in my office and started crying.?
That experience solidified my feelings that consigning and donating my items is the way to go. I recently joined the board at Emergency Infant Services (www.emergencyinfantservices.org) and get to hear about the tons and tons of families that use their services. About two years ago, they would see about 15-20 families a day offering help with clothing, formula, medicine, car seats, cribs, etc. With the recession, those numbers have gone up to 50-60 a day!
The needs around the country are so great and every little bit helps! When you are looking at your child's precious clothes and thinking of the memories....start a new thought, one that envisions another needy mom getting to experience the joy of the outfit too, because of your generosity!
It's a life changer and makes it so much easier to take that first step and let go.
Shannon Wilburn
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Christmas Already?
Thursday, October 22, 2009 By: Shannon Wilburn
Christmas Already?
For those of you who don't already know this....our Christmas break is only TWO MONTHS away. I was reminded of this just last night at our mid-week church service. One of the boys in the youth group ran up to me and said....Miss Shannon....I need $15!
I knew exactly where he was going. The fall fundraiser items are finally in. Yes, I ordered Christmas paper in August. As I handed over the cash, I received two large rolls of Christmas paper. Now, don't get me wrong, I love Christmas, not so much the shopping part of Christmas but more the atmosphere that comes with the season; the smells, the crispness in the air, the Christmas tunes on the radio. However, receiving Christmas paper before Halloween already has me stressed about everything that comes with the Christmas season. Not the least of which is the gift giving.
Now, my business partner, Daven, has the gift (no pun intended) of gift giving. It definitely is her love language. She can quickly look at someone and know exactly what type of gift to get them and can usually find an affordable way to do it. The gifts that she gives are usually unique in nature as she puts a lot of thought into the choice.
As a dog owner, a chocolate Lab and previously, a Great Dane, Daven once purchased our family the service of a pooper scooper for a month. Someone actually came to our house to clean up after our pets! What a dream...one that I never would have thought of. My idea of a great gift is one that requires no thought on my part, the practical gift card.
With all of that being said AND knowing that the stresses of Christmas season will soon be upon us, I thought that I would share an article that I read about choosing and giving safe toys.
1. Know what toys to avoid.
2. Buy according to the child's age.
3. Check for recalls.
4. Watch where you shop.
Click here to read the full article to find out strategies on giving safe toys.
Hopefully it will help you as you prepare for upcoming holidays.
Hugs, Shannon
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Musings from a Mom of a 14 Year Old Boy
Saturday, October 10, 2009 By: Shannon Wilburn
Okay, first things first. I love my son! I love him for many reasons....one of which is the humor that he provides our family. Most of the time, the humor that he provides is unintentional on his part, which makes it even funnier to me. Keep in mind, as you read this, that he is an A/B student, is involved in Youth Group, Drug Free Youth and holds a job.
I have several stories to tell, but will just grace you with one today.
Recently, we hired a housecleaner. She comes twice a month and helps keep our house in order. The day after her third visit to help keep us out of chaos, my son comes down to my bathroom while I am getting ready for the day.
His first comment is, "Mom, I need my inhaler." I respond, "I saw it on your bedside table yesterday." He, becoming more agitated, states, "Well, it's not there now!"
Still standing in the bathroom, I hand him a new inhaler and tell him to look under his bed for the old one as he has a tendency to lose things and then find them later...and, in the process, blame someone else for losing them.
Our conversation continued. "Mom, you need to fire our housecleaner!" When I asked why he told me that not only was his inhaler missing, but his Axe body spray and deodorant were missing too. When I suggested that it was probably lost...he told me, "Fine, keep her...but she will do it again!"
I quickly went up to his bathroom, pulled out the second drawer and spotted all of his personal products that had been placed neatly in the drawer instead of on the counter top. I showed it to him and he apologized.
Later that morning, I took my daugther (13) to school and we were laughing that he thought that our housecleaner would want his half-used deodorant....Her logical comment was..."Yea...she skipped over the PSP and the ipod and went for the deodorant!". 
I couldn't stop laughing.
That evening at dinner, we were laughing again about the thought that our housecleaner would steal someone's deodarant. My son, in the straightest face ever, said.."Mom, they start off small!".
Thank the Lord that he adds to our joy everyday. :)
Well, I'm told that this is a stage! Since I know that most of our readers have smaller children...I am hoping that you can corroborate that kids go through stages and share some of your own funny stories here. Leave a comment so we can all share the moment.
Off to start the day with a full can of Axe body spray, some deaodarant and an inhaler, all in the correct place and easily found!
Shannon
All About Me!
Thursday, September 17, 2009 By: Shannon Wilburn
All About Me!
Hi, I’m Shannon!
I wanted to start off my first ever blog by saying that I am nervous and excited at the same time. I have known that this day was coming and have been anticipating it for months now. I have dreamed about writing blogs and have thought about what kinds of things I could share, what would be appropriate, interesting, encouraging and funny. However, now that the day is here where I actually get to share...I have to say that I am a bit nervous. It's kind of like introducing yourself to someone you like and you want them to like you back..you want to be accepted and popular and loved.
I've heard that there are many bloggers out there and it is kind of it's own community. Well...I am hoping that, if you are reading this now, that you will visit my blog often and read my thoughts, most embarrassing moments (I have lots) and get to know me as I get to know you. I really encourage you to leave comments so that you can become my "online friends"!
A Litte More About Me!
I have a Bachelors degree in Elementary Education, but am not currently a teacher! I am now a business owner and LOVE what I get to do every day (well, almost every day). :) I am 39 years old currently and have two children. My son is 14 years old and a freshman and my daughter is 13 and in the 8th grade.
In the past, I’ve worked as a 5th grade teacher at a public elementary school in Tulsa, Oklahoma (only for a year and a half...but have some great friends from those teaching days) been a stay-at-home mom, sold print advertising for a local Christian magazine, and had an in-home day care (not my best year)! Oh, I have also been a youth minister's wife and am currently a preachers wife and although those are not paid positions..I would consider them work too! ,
These days, you will find me doing anything and everything it takes to run my business, Just Between Friends. I am a bit of a control freak, so I usually have my hands in too many projects that may or may not be mine to control.
I have a business partner, Daven Tackett, and, together we own two businesses. Just Between Friends of Tulsa, a twice yearly children's and maternity consignment sales event in Tulsa, OK AND, Just Between Friends Franchise System, the corporate entity that sells the above mentioned franchises. jbfsale.com
We started the Tulsa business in 1997 when my kiddos were 1 and 2. It was pure necessity as we were definitely on a budget and I wanted to shop in my friends closets! We had 17 consignors at our first event in 1997 and it happened in my 400 square foot living room. A man tried to buy the couch!
We run the Tulsa event twice a year and it is definitely a bear of a project. Imagine, now, 58,000 square feet of children's and maternity items, 1400 participating families, 10,000 shoppers in 7 days. Whew...I am tired just writing about it.
In 2003, the Tulsa business was seeing continued success and others were asking how to start a business like it in their communities. That is when the JBF Franchise System was born. This is the short version..I am sure that I will tell the long one at some other time, just not now. We franchised Just Between Friends (after reading Franchising for Dummies) and sold our first franchise in January 2004. Currently we have 95 franchises in 20 states. These women (and men) who run their own JBF are awesome people. Seriously...it is like having a huge family. We support one another in daily life as well as in our business lives.
Daven and I run the JBF Franchise system full time (along with 4 staff members and a wonderful Executive Team) and you will find us way too busy just about every day. Okay...there are slow seasons....and I do look forward to them and try to take a vacation then. (Can't wait until November 15th) Maybe I will write about that too...
My Favorite Things!
When I am not working....I like long walks on the beach, visiting tropical locations (okay..this sounds like a personal ad) eating and exercising (those have to go together...I only exercise because I like to eat!) spending time with friends, spending time with and worshipping the Lord and I reap huge rewards as a mom of two awesome teenagers and am a wife of a wondeful, amazing, fabulous...did I say wonderful, godly husband of 19 years. (I have to write this because I am sure that I will be writing about him in blogs to come....just adding to the love bank here).
I am always amazed that I get to live in this wonderful world with my wonderful family and my fun job...I am so blessed!
I am looking forward to getting to know you and telling your more about me....can't wait!
Hugs, Shannon
